Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank Holidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
Mondaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

:D

:D

Today I replied to an email saying, “It was I who phoned you earlier in the week.”

Did you spot the best thing ever? No? Well I can’t say I’m surprised. You see, folks, I used the correct pronoun. I could have written “It was me who phoned”, which would have been more appropriate given the informality of emails in general, but I thought better of it and decided to be more grammatical. Besides, I liked the way it sounded dramatic. The email was about a completely trifling matter, but there’s no point being bland and well-balanced when you can ham something up to operatic levels.

It’s these small victories that help keep a linguistic man sane, you know.

Hey, whenever you find a clever program or website or some piece of technology (sat navs, iPhone, whatever), always remember that the computer is not clever. The computer is a dumb machine. It has the same amount of intelligence as a rock, it’s just a bunch of switches. Literally. That is all a computer is, a bunch of switches.

The computer is not clever: the programmer is. Google is clever because the guys that set it up are clever. Clever at computers (their search engine was revolutionary when it first came out) and clever at business (they didn’t sell out to Microsoft or Yahoo when they came up with their search engine).

Your iPhone is not clever. The developers at Apple are clever. They’re the ones that designed it and pushed it through the polishing process. A piece of technology that’s simple and easy to use takes twice as much ingenuity and innovation (or more than that) to make than a complicated, hard-to-use product.

The answer, of course, is flipcharts. When you think about it, what else could it be?

Been updating crapspackle, check it out: crapspackle.co.uk. Two new “cartoons” for your enjoyment.

Also, just thought, someone asked me to recreate the pose on the crapspackle website for a photo and it really annoyed me. I hate* that probably more than I hate† flipcharts.

* This instance of the word ‘hate’ is exaggeration.

† This instance of the word ‘hate’ is not‡ exaggeration.

‡ Well of course it is, did you have to ask?

I’m quite bored today, did you notice?

If you have some spare time today, leaf through a catalogue. (Or a catalog if you’re American).

Have a look at the photos of people. People really enjoying using their whiteboard, or their lawnmower, or whatever it is they’re using. They’re really happy, it’s like item 204598 has totally saved their life and brought joy into their otherwise miserable and pathetic day.

Hooray for item 204598!

That’s all for today, really. Today I’ve gone for item 462413, which is 10 pencils what used to be CDs . Also looking for a calculator. I’m torn between 566934 and 249306. Actually, folks, I’m totally lying to you. 566934 is clearly the better choice.