Being Mr. Kenny

There once was a girl with special hair who had a pet fly called Malcolm. They lived in a house made of sugar, deep deep inside the centre of the moon and every day they would take a stroll amongst the trees who lived there.

Every now and again they would climb the moon-trees and watch the space-birds fly about squeaking their metal songs to all who would hear. They loved to do this and would accompany that haunting tune with the sound of a thousand breaking metal hearts. After tiring of this game, and when the space-birds had all gone to bed, they would go back into their house of sugar and make cakes to feed the people who lived in the moon-trees. Malcolm would sit on her hair and tell her what to add.

She had been born on a comet to a small family of space people whom she had lost one day when she was only five after the comet crashed into a planet near by. She didn’t really care, however, as they were annoying people. She was the only member who had been born without parts of cows as part of her body so she knew that she was better than everyone else in the whole universe. She found it hard to make friends on her lonely planet and took solace in the fact that she was unusual for a girl of her age due to her blood red hair. One day on her imaginary travels she had met a fly who was in a similar situation to her and she told him everything — how her heart was dry and barren and how she did not know who she really was. He told her of his love for Italian cooking and wearing make up. As they shared their lives and recipes they became increasingly aware of the time. It had grown dark and they had not noticed as they wandered off into the far away distance of the woods.

She looked around and saw that she was in the middle of a magical circle. A whole hoard of insects rose up in swirling clouds of iridescent reds and blues and greens and shades of colours that she had never seen before. As they serenaded her in tiny silvery voices singing secret songs she knew that she would never really be alone.

In her kitchen in the moon she took the cakes out of the oven and allowed them to cool on a plate before taking them to the people in the moon-trees. She lay them on the floor, took two steps back and waited. The first of the shy people of the valley of the moon-trees tentatively stepped forward. Moving over to the cakes he called to the other people in a strange chittering voice and quite soon the entire population was there all placing the food carefully onto the whirring blades of their mouths so as to avoid self-mutiliation. After eating the cakes and the plate they scuttered away. Red Riding Locks watched them as they did this with a smile on her face and planted a few more fireflowers (the juice of which can be used to cure warts).

Meanwhile Malcolm was back inside the house clearing up the kitchen. You see you thought he was only tiny small! Well, so did I, but he’s not apparently.

And that concludes our story for today.