I’m not even sure these count as poems, but it’s the closest word there is to describe them. If it is poetry, then it’s mess about poetry. I am yet to write one about something beautiful :)

Two types of stripes »

Experimenting with rhyme

As the Coral Shattered »

When my sister was christened, she pulled a coral necklace off from around my mum’s neck and the pieces went everywhere. When I mentioned this to my friend Esther she said I should write a poem about it. I said I didn’t have a title, so she suggested, “As the coral shattered” which I thought was wonderfully overdramatic. So I wrote this overdramatic poem to go with it.

Identity Crisis »

It’s all about those parentheses at the end there.

Political Correctness »

A satire on the hypocrisy of political correctness. Or something.

On telling a joke too many times »

I wrote this in an MSN conversation. It looked nice and I thought it would do well to put it on the poems page. Oh how wrong I was.

I had a friend once »

This poem is made of lies. I never really had a friend called Jacqueline, but that didn’t stop me. I wrote it in about 10 seconds, walking back from town after buying a new pen. Under a lamppost, actually.

Prose »

A poem so bad I tried to hide the fact by throwing in some XHTML elements as a sort of geek play on words.

St Paul’s Letter to the Students »

Inspired by the kind of language Bible translators use. I particularly like the last (spurious) quotation. Can you spot the genuine Bible verse?

The Song of the Radiator »

Inspired by the radiator I had the displeasure of using when I was a student. My room was perpetually and excessively hot, no matter what the time of year.

Daisy, Daisy »

Alternative lyrics.

Menzies »

Over two summers I worked in a hotel which I found to be miserable drudgery. I wrote a poem about the guests!

Limericks »

Limericks are great. These are mostly inspired by Edward Lear.

An Epic Limerick »

Playing with the idea of a Limerick — they’re usually short and punchy, so I thought I’d have a go at writing an epic tale in Limerick form.

Ode to the Amoeba »

This has been received surprisingly well! It’s about an amoeba, surprisingly, and it’s based around a textbook description.

I’m messing around really, but I’ve always been fascinated by the idea that something can exist and function so well, and yet not be conscious. I guess it’s about that, if it’s about anything.

The Leech »

Following the success of Ode to the Amoeba I tried my hand at writing another biological poem, this time about the humble Leech.

The Goose People »

I wrote this during a particularly difficult essay about Ecotoxicology.

The Baby »

I wrote this in an A Level biology lesson. My class-mates didn’t seem all too amused at the time, but I consider that to be their loss :)