Nov
20
2007
5

Ha ha ha, new design

So here it is. This has been in the pipeline for about a million years. Almost literally, it’s been something I’ve been meaning to put live for months, but never got around to it, so I’m letting it free unpolished, and hopefully it will develop with time.

If you’re missing the old design, check out photos, it’s still looking crap cos of various reasons.

I think web design might not be a priority any more for me, if this is a sign of things. Which is good because blah blah blah who cares this is a boring post.

Written by Mark in: Site News |
Jun
16
2007
1

I wrote a new poem!

I’ve written a new poem called “Political Correctness” and it’s horribly offensive. It’s got some good use of irony, and a proper rhyming scheme and everything.

Political Correctness — it’s ironic.

Written by Mark in: Site News |
Feb
12
2007
0

A new plugin: Texturise Mod

Just made a plugin for WordPress which corrects the way it handles curly quotes under certain situations.

I used to just make hacks to core files to do this, but they changed the core files in version 2.1 and it was easier and more transferable to make a plugin.

So now I’m releasing it to the general public!

Specifically, it stops WordPress making the last speech mark in ‘6’ and “6” into prime and double prime symbols. It also stops WordPress putting a closing speech mark right after the parenthesis in (“hello”) which severely used to irritate me.

It also stops WordPress making the first speech mark in ‘single’ into a closing one. This is good for words like “doesn’t” or “can’t” but not at the beginning of a word! Quite surprised the WordPress Dev Team have let that slip past, actually.

Anyway, go and download it if you’ve noticed WordPress doing all these things:

Texturise Mod v1.0

Written by Mark in: Site News |
Feb
03
2007
2

OK, folks, chaps, guys, peeps and … phillys?

I’ve written a new story, you should all immediately go and read it immediately.

Too many immediatelys? On the contrary, not enough! I will here insert 100 immediatelys:

immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately immediately

The story is called Know what I hate? and it features two of my favourite people in the whole world: the Queen and Tony Blair.

Read it »

Written by Mark in: Site News |
Jan
09
2007
2

Poetry

Poetry is a funny thing. I kinda hate it.

But also, I really like it, some of it.

For the most part, I find it hard to understand. I think maybe I pay too much attention to the words. Or maybe I read the words like prose, which of course makes it sound disjointed and crap. I think you’re supposed to read poetry out of the corner of your eye. Kinda like squint at it.

There’s poems I really like, Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy. It’s about a woman who gives her lover an onion on Valentine’s day instead of the usual gifts. It’s fully of really nice images like, “I give you an onion./It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.”

Imagine getting a moon wrapped in brown paper! How totally awesome would that be! It would be all glowing and small, and you could keep it in your bag whenever you needed light or whenever you just wanted to look at a little moon. It’s like the ultimate office toy, a Newton’s cradle but a million times better. If anyone has a moon in brown paper, tell me where you got it, because I want one.

So anyway. I think you’re supposed to enjoy the images and stuff. I’ve always liked little bits of sentences and nice words and things. Like “optical” and “five”. Those are good words.

I can’t take a whole poem though, so maybe a good way of reading poems would be to take it to pieces and enjoy each little bit at a time. You could spend as much time reading a poem as you do reading a novel that way.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was to introduce a new poem I wrote. It literally took about 10 seconds to write, it’s like the best poem ever.

It’s called “I had a friend once”, and it’s all lies. I never had a friend called Jacqueline. Read it!

Written by Mark in: Musings, Site News |
Nov
04
2006
3

That sidebar on the right just there

My housemate brought to my attention just the other night, the fact that the sidebar on the right-hand side of this page never changes. This is sadly true. That photo of that tree from Devon has been up there longer than I care to admit, and the other links could do with a bit of a change, too.

The reason for my sluggishness is valid, however. The photo never changes because I am currently writing a plugin for WordPress that will handle all my photos. Once that’s complete, You’ll see more photos more frequently. Just like everyone on the Internet, I have an inflated sense of my skills as a photographer (and a writer, and a web designer, and a programmer) so I do take the odd photo I’m quite proud of.

As for the text-based content, well the explanation there is quite simple, really. I have been labouring under the illusion that in order to be a writer, you must be good at writing. Let’s look at the facts: people like my crazy stories because there is no logical plot, no sensible character development and no pithy message underneath it all. So from now on, as soon as I get a silly idea for a story I’m going to knock something off in an hour or so and just post it, spelling mistakes and all.

Which brings me to:

In related news: Version 2 of Firefox, the browser everyone would blatantly make love to if it were a person, has been released. It looks prettier, and there is a spell checker built into it that checks spellings in forms you fill out. (I note that Linux has had this for longer, but it’s taken a while for the rest of the world to catch up. And while I’m on the topic of Linux, I tried upgrading my system to the latest version of Kubuntu a few nights ago, and the whole thing crashed around my ears so I had to re-install everything all over again. This is about the tenth time I’ve installed an OS on my computer, I’m really not exaggerating! Maybe this is why the rest of the world takes so much longer to catch up!*)

* I wouldn’t change this for the world, however. I expect my computer to need some serious attention from time to time; it wouldn’t be Linux if everything didn’t catastrophically break on a regular basis.

Written by Mark in: All and sundry, Site News |
Jun
24
2006
8

It’s that time again!

Yes, it’s time to dust off the trusty text editor and get editing all those lovely files whose names are acronyms: HTML, CSS, PHP (and .htaccess, but don’t worry too much about that one).

I’m having a redesign!

This theme has been in development for ages, on my local install, and it’s now time to roll it out and make more edits live. I love making edits live, it’s so exciting, no? Anyways, it’ll be fixed up by the end of the day, and I’m also happy to announce the imminent return of stories, articles and poems, hooray!

Now is the time to submit feedback about the new look, because after a while I will have forgotten how the CSS works and then it will be too late.

Written by Mark in: Site News |

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