Mar
24
2007
5

How do people discover things?

I don’t mean things like the combustion engine or the secret of flight. Things like that come about because someone sees something obvious like an explosion and then goes “how can I harness that power”; or they watch a bird and say, “Hm, that looks like fun, let’s try it.”

I mean things like coffee, and steamed milk. And pasta. Things like copper, and glass — stuff that’s not obvious.

Who was it that saw a coffee bush and thought, “I’ve just had the best idea, I’m going to open up those red fruit, get the seed, roast it, grind it, put it hot water, and then drink it.” How do people arrive at these conclusions?

Who decided to push steam down a small metal tube into some cold milk? Who decided to grind up wheat and mix it with eggs and things to make spaghetti? (Incidentally, it’s generally considered that pasta was discovered independently in every culture. Just like bread, and alcohol.)

Actually, to use some very poor style I’m going to refer to something outside of parantheses that I just wrote in parentheses: who discovered alcohol? Who thought that it would be a good idea to let fruit go bad and then drink the fluid? I do believe I remember reading a Björk interview where she said that she’d seen a video of elephants hiding apples and waiting for them to go bad and then getting drunk on them. That’s quite funny.

Anyway, I have no idea how these things came about, but I’m glad that they did.

Mysteries solved.*

* Check it out, no mysteries have been been solved at all!

Written by Mark in: Musings |
Jan
26
2007
1

How Novels are the Same as Computer Programs

Be warned: the first couple of lines of this post are covered in horrible sticky crap that looks like pretention. In fact it is not. What appears to be pretention is merely lack of writing skill.

Thank you. This has been a public message on behalf of Mark Kenny.

It occurred to me today that a novelist is a type of sculptor. Instead of working in clay, or bronze, or whatever, they create their sculptures right inside your head. Plot lines, metaphors, dialogue, these are all the long, arduous processes which take the medium, whatever is inside your head at the time, and form them into the sculpture: whatever is inside the author’s head at the time.

A novel is an attempt to communicate an idea, an opinion, an emotion, in a non-mental way. We can explain things using words as best we can. Textbooks are a good example of this: clear, concise words being used in a relatively dry manner to get an idea across as efficiently as possible.

But I think a novel is different because it gives us an example to directly encounter what the author is thinking. We don’t just read about an idea, we temporarily take up residence in a little world designed to reflect that idea, that point of view. It’s one thing to be told that injustice is wrong, it’s another to get to know characters and then watch them suffer under injustice. It brings the message home in a much more experiential way.

So that’s my view of novels. And now for the programming part…

I dabble in web programming and as a consequence my brain is a little more used to seeing things as a computer does. I am more familiar with the way they operate, and this permeates my thinking to a certain extent. For example, when I read Isaiah 55:11, in which God says that his word does not “return to [him] void” I giggle because it’s funny to think that God does not return void.

Geek jokes!

Computers approach things differently from humans, and this is obvious to anyone who has tried to install wireless networking. One of the things that computers do not do is learn. More precisely, they don’t “get used to things”. They approach every task as if it is the first time they have ever done it, pretty much. They may save settings and things like that, but from the computers point of view, it’s the first time they’ve seen those settings.

It’s like having no memory at all. Imagine you were given a list of things to do to accomplish a task. Imagine that you forget each item on the list as soon as you have done it. That’s very similar to how a computer program works. The instructions had better be pretty detailed, and able to deal with unexpected situations. For example, you could say, “At this stage you should be seeing this. If you are not, stop what you are doing, sit down, and cry for help.” That’s called error-detection.

If something unexpected happened and you didn’t check for it, you would carry on as normal until you actually physically couldn’t do it any more. Then you would still carry on trying to do it until a nice person came up and told you to start again. That’s called a crash.

And it’s this difference between humans and computers that makes novels similar to computer programs.

A sculptor has total control over the sculpture. She can choose the material, the tools, the shape, the amount of time she spends on it, etc. The finished piece of work is entirely her creation.

The novelist, however, doesn’t have that luxury. He must simply write the “instructions” for making his “mental sculpture” (i.e., the experience he once had and now wants you to had, or the view he holds that he wants you to be able to see) and hope for the best. His novel might be read by someone who doesn’t get all the references, or who doesn’t find all the jokes funny, or who has no appreciation for the language he is using. He is limited by the reader.

For example, I have lost count of the number of times I have said, “oh, she had brown hair!” or something similar, and had to track back to where that character was first described. I just finished reading Winter in Madrid by C. J. Sansom, and I regret to report that the characters Hoare, Hillgarth and Tollyhurst really weren’t all that well defined in my head. They were like the Three Persons of the Trinity, I had no idea where one ended and the other began. Or who they were, for that matter, and these weren’t minor characters, either! This is because I am a lazy and impatient reader. If it’s not making me laugh, or cry, or say “ooh, that’s deep”, I tend to read it quickly to get to the next good bit.

Authors, calm yourselves, it is a habit I am trying hard to remove!

Anyway, do you see my point? Like the computer program, the reader has no idea where he or she is going. Instead of being able to see the finished piece in front of them, the reader must build it in their head before they can really look at it. (Incidentally, why are sculptors female, authors male, but readers gender neutral? Political correctness, I fear, has had a hand in my pronoun choice.)

Written by Mark in: Musings |
Jan
09
2007
2

Poetry

Poetry is a funny thing. I kinda hate it.

But also, I really like it, some of it.

For the most part, I find it hard to understand. I think maybe I pay too much attention to the words. Or maybe I read the words like prose, which of course makes it sound disjointed and crap. I think you’re supposed to read poetry out of the corner of your eye. Kinda like squint at it.

There’s poems I really like, Valentine by Carol Ann Duffy. It’s about a woman who gives her lover an onion on Valentine’s day instead of the usual gifts. It’s fully of really nice images like, “I give you an onion./It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.”

Imagine getting a moon wrapped in brown paper! How totally awesome would that be! It would be all glowing and small, and you could keep it in your bag whenever you needed light or whenever you just wanted to look at a little moon. It’s like the ultimate office toy, a Newton’s cradle but a million times better. If anyone has a moon in brown paper, tell me where you got it, because I want one.

So anyway. I think you’re supposed to enjoy the images and stuff. I’ve always liked little bits of sentences and nice words and things. Like “optical” and “five”. Those are good words.

I can’t take a whole poem though, so maybe a good way of reading poems would be to take it to pieces and enjoy each little bit at a time. You could spend as much time reading a poem as you do reading a novel that way.

Anyway, the whole point of this post was to introduce a new poem I wrote. It literally took about 10 seconds to write, it’s like the best poem ever.

It’s called “I had a friend once”, and it’s all lies. I never had a friend called Jacqueline. Read it!

Written by Mark in: Musings, Site News |
Dec
11
2006
3

Apple and Microsoft

Microsoft’s genius was to get a computer into everyone’s home. Apple’s genius was to make everybody love their computers like they love their pets.

Written by Mark in: Musings |
Dec
07
2006
2

Free careers advice from a nice lady on TV

Caught the tail-end of a programme called Supporting Acts as I was eating my lunch today. It focussed on 2 people working “behind the scenes” in TV. The first was a set builder, who enjoyed his job immensely, and the second was a stunt woman called Daniella Da Costa (who also enjoyed her job immensely).

The last thing I caught before I switched off was,

Life is very short — but it’s far too long if you’re doing the wrong thing.

I thought that was very true, I liked it very much. Hooray for good careers!

Written by Mark in: Musings |
Jul
28
2006
7

-isms

A realist is someone who looks at things as they are and accepts the facts. An idealist is someone who looks at things and sees how they could be improved. A pessimist is someone who sees negative things and considers them to be more important. An optimist is both a realist and an idealist.

This occured to me late one night. What do you think?

Written by Mark in: Musings |
Feb
21
2006
5

The saddest thing in the whole world

Do you know what the saddest thing is in the whole world? (Apart from discovering that the dog has thrown up all over your mum’s new rug.)

The fact that coffee will never taste as good as it smells.

It’s enough to make you cry.

Update: “syzygy”

Just because this post is a bit crappy, I’m giving you another. Two crappy posts for the price of one!

Anyway, if you’re ever playing Scrabble and you’re stuck for a word, “syzygy” could well be your friend. Try and use it in every day speech, because it exists.

Written by Mark in: Musings |

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