Being Mr. Kenny

I found this advert on a website a while ago.

I don’t have an opinion about it, but posting this makes me political.

Kevin McCloud, pictured below (if he had one eye, and if he looked like that), is a presenter on Channel 4. He does a lot of those house programmes, where someone converts an outside loo into a library, or builds an extension made out of hay. Usually in the country-side.

He’s great, he was once interviewing some working class people, and he told them he thought it was really good that “people like you can do something like this”. That’s not an exact quote, mind, and it might be made up.

He also edits, or at least contributes to, or at least is pictured on the front cover of, a magazine called Grand Designs, and about twenty copies of this magazine sit in our toilet. Well, they sit on the shelf just above our toilet, not actually in our toilet. I read them whenever I have to poo.

I don’t know why, but some men see toilet time as quality time, and will quite happily sit there for hours, as long as they have something to read. Others find this concept baffling and disgusting. I flit between the two, depending on how much time I have.

Anyway, as a consequence of my reading these magazines, I have irrevocably forged a link between Kevin McCloud, and sitting on the toilet. I entered the living room tonight and there he was! He was interviewing someone about a house they’d just constructed using only cuttlefish and tar, or something, and I was instantly transported back to all those happy hours I have spent with my trousers about my ankles. Kevin McCloud is my toilet buddy!

Update: Mark is pleased to announce that this post was read by prospective employers and was mentioned in the interview!

This one I Photoshopped.

Oh, how witheringly droll!

I see this little dialog box quite often, and it always irritates me when I do:

So, instead, I propose that it be changed to the following:

I feel that would give me more satisfaction.

I have long been an admirer of this animated dancing milk which comes to us from my friend’s phone.

Update: This is from the music video for a Blur song. I forget which.

Statistics!

This post is proof that while you can take the boy out of science, you can’t take the anally-retentive urge to collect data and do stats on them out of the boy.

Half-way through my stint as a data entry clerk, I began to record how many forms I’d filled in each hour. I have 8 days’ data, and I’ve made a lovely 3D graph using Excel, isn’t it lovely?

This graph shows the number of forms entered onto the computer per hour over the course of 8 days. The two highest bars in pink are the result of my zen-like state of boredom, where I became a lean, mean, form-putting-into-the-computer machine. You can also see the weekend, represented by the flat bars, and the fact that I went home early on Friday each week. You can also see how the forms started to run out towards the end, I managed to clear the backlog for them, hurrah!

If you click on the image above, you can get the Excel spreadsheet with all the original data and the original graph. You can play around with the 3D graph and rotate it and stuff, it’s quite clever.

Now come on, this is good blogging! Where else do you get graphs of people’s boring work assignments?

I found this emoticon a while ago:

I thought it was extremely funny. It kinda encapsulates the stupid crap people post on forums.