I have spent the entire morning looking for cables. I hate a cable as no man ever did before.

Who am I mis-quoting? That’s right! Charles Darwin, who, after studying barnacles for years and years, wrote,

I am at work on the second vol. of the Cirripedia, of which creatures I am wonderfully tired: I hate a Barnacle as no man ever did before, not even a Sailor in a slow-sailing ship. My first vol. is out: the only part worth looking at is on the sexes of Ibla & Scalpellum; I hope by next summer to have done with my tedious work.

There’s nothing in the Bible about how to do mornings. Therefore I’m gonna go ahead and claim that they are unbiblical.

Found this on a webpage recently. It’s a user review. Just found it funny.

Great for sorting your all your spelling mistakes even in on-line forms and internet email. Your words are underlined in red just how MS Word does it!! Gives me confidence to type and not look like a nob.

Does that make me immature?

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank Holidaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay
Mondaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

:D

:D

Today I replied to an email saying, “It was I who phoned you earlier in the week.”

Did you spot the best thing ever? No? Well I can’t say I’m surprised. You see, folks, I used the correct pronoun. I could have written “It was me who phoned”, which would have been more appropriate given the informality of emails in general, but I thought better of it and decided to be more grammatical. Besides, I liked the way it sounded dramatic. The email was about a completely trifling matter, but there’s no point being bland and well-balanced when you can ham something up to operatic levels.

It’s these small victories that help keep a linguistic man sane, you know.