Very, very pretty but entirely impractical.

I would love to re-design it to be more practical - eg: implausibly small optical drive as well as a few more ports as not everything can be done wirelessly all the time.

Although one objection:

Steve Jobs is very much a geek.

It doesn’t have an optical drive. You need to hook it up to another computer in order to play CDs. That’s too annoying. Ultimately, they’ll push boundaries and every laptop will be ultra thin, and someone will find a clever way to make CD drives tiny, or when CDs go out of date and everyone’s using flash drives to watch movies and stuff, then great. But on the whole, I don’t really think a laptop without a CD is great idea.

Mainly, I hate the smugness of it all. I have to say, Apple makes good stuff, but I don’t like their smugness. The way they think they’re so much better than Microsoft, and the way all Apple customers just can’t wait to gush about how incredible Apple is. Google is run by geeks, which is great: Steve Jobs isn’t geeky enough. He needs to wear some more checked shirts and maybe snort milk through his nose. I’d like to see that at the next Apple conference.

I don’t like their “cool” adverts. When they come on the TV I try to play the Steptoe and Son music in my head to counter all the coolness.

Most of the hatred is irrational though. Half of me is impressed that it’s a nice idea, but the other half of me hopes it loses them loads and loads of money so they almost, almost, go out of business. Not all the way out of business, since computing without Apple would be desolate and pointless: the true meaning of the word “vacuum”. Just maybe enough to make them feel a bit of a pinch.