Being Mr. Kenny

Just because, really.

Ths s nthr rsn why w shld nstgt Mrnng Mrnng s qckly s pssbl. hv bn lkng frwrd t slply styng n bd ths Strdy mrnng ll wk, bt pprntly my bdy gt s mch gd qlty slp tht t dcdd tht 7.30 ws gd tm t b flly wk.

Ntrlly cmpltly dsgrd, s frcd myslf t g bck t slp. vn trd t mlt Mndy mrnng by gttng my lrm clck t g ff vry 9 mnts (tr lrm clcks g ff vry 9 mnts ftr snz, nt 10 — bt hr’s th mystry: nbdy knws why*). strtchd t th l-n ntl 11.11, nd thn ws frcd t gt t f bd bcs ws chng nd flld wth msry. S mch fr l-ns tll y. t’s hrrbl. ‘v bn gttng p t 6 fr th lst, wll, vr t sms, nd ‘m trd f t. N pn ntndd. Ths s t srs fr pns.

Wht hs hppnd t my stdnt blty t slp? sd t b bl t wst my lf prfctly hpply, nd nw cn’t br t sty n bd mch pst 9 bfr my cnscnc gs mntl. Why, t’s lmst s f ‘m bcmng sfl mmbr f scty.

Th wrst prt s th th nly vstg f th stdnt lfstyl hv lft s my pr, crppld fnncs. csmc jk, f vr thr ws n.

nywy, ‘d bttr gt drssd. Th hs nds hvrng.

* Ths s tr, ctlly, lk t p.

This is another reason why we should instigate Mourning Morning as quickly as possible. I have been looking forward to sleepily staying in bed this Saturday morning all week, but apparently my body got so much good quality sleep that it decided that 7.30 was a good time to be fully awake.

Naturally I completely disagreed, so forced myself to go back to sleep. I even tried to emulate Monday morning by getting my alarm clock to go off every 9 minutes (true alarm clocks go off every 9 minutes after snooze, not 10 — but here’s the mystery: nobody knows why*). I stretched out the lie-in until 11.11, and then was forced to get out of bed because I was aching and filled with misery. So much for lie-ins I tell you. It’s horrible. I’ve been getting up at 6 for the last, well, ever it seems, and I’m tired of it. No pun intended. This is too serious for puns.

What has happened to my student ability to sleep? I used to be able to waste my life perfectly happily, and now I can’t bear to stay in bed much past 9 before my conscience goes mental. Why, it’s almost as if I’m becoming a useful member of society.

The worst part is the the only vestige of the student lifestyle I have left is my poor, crippled finances. A cosmic joke, if ever there was one.

Anyway, I’d better get dressed. The house needs hoovering.

* This is true, actually, look it up.

What is your favourite object? One of my favourite objects is the humble pencil. To me they represent solidity, simplicity and serenity.

One day, pencils will take over the world. They are the only item of stationery that can withstand a nuclear blast and they can be used to slay dragons (should the need arise). If you’re ever stressed, get a pencil and just pick it up. *

What’s your favourite object and why?

* Made-up lies

Check this out, from a comment left on a blog I was reading recently:

nothing about security … ???
that puts me off a bit …
since my blog can be hacked into very easily …
but i will make sure i upgrade …
thanks for sharing this …
appreciated …

Some people need to just not use ellipses. Just point blank never use them again.

Today as I dragged myself to work my mind wandered to the concept of national days. We have a national day for everything, it seems. Grandparents, back pain, breast cancer, the Queen’s birthday (twice). We even celebrate when the banks take a break — presumably these people must be so hard working that when they stop it’s so momentous an occasion that the nation pays its respects. (I must admit I have never found this to be the case: they’re never open when I’m free and they shut early on a Wednesday. To quote so many poor quality stand up comedians: “What’s that about?”)

Anyway, it occurred to me that we pause to remember all kinds of griefs in the calendar. World Wars, this tragedy, that tragedy etc. But we don’t pause to remember that most terrible form of grief that all of us experience.

I’m speaking, of course, about having to get out of bed in the morning. What an awful way to start the day! Who was it who decided that every single day of our entire lives (unless we are in a coma) would begin with getting out of bed. Surely, days should start with something wonderfully pleasant. What about sunrise, I hear you cry. Well they’re nice I suppose, but don’t you have to get out of bed to witness them?

So therefore I suppose national Mourning Morning. This would be where for the whole morning everyone sat around feeling sorry for themselves, rubbing their eyes, yawning and generally not being very productive. Sounds a lot like your average working day, doesn’t it? The only difference here would be that it would have a proper name (not just ‘laziness’) and it would be marked on people’s calendars. And the Prime Minister would make a speech or something.

“Today we remember the hard work and dedication of everyone who had to get out bed this morning. Bloody good show, the lot of you. I’m off to drink some brandy with the Queen and Prince Philip now, so … goodbye!”

Why is that everything to do with Apple just brings me to my knees and makes me want to weep. I just saw the new iPod touch, and I want one so much I might just spend the day crying.

It’s like the new Apple phone but without the crappy phone part (I want my phone to be a phone, nothing else).

Check it out. Look at it until your eyes bleed.

iPod touch.

People often hear words like “grace” and “mercy” and associate them with weakness. In fact, grace and mercy are not ‘less’ than justice in any way; they are more. It is bigger to forgive than it is to seek justice. There is nothing weak, unmanly or feeble about forgiveness. Forgiveness is definately not the soft touch.

Forgiving someone takes strength, determination and guts, and it hurts. Joseph was sold into slavery by his own brothers and wasted most of his youth in a jail cell as a result. The best years of his life, he spent in a dungeon, but he knew that he had to forgive. The Bible says that when he met his brothers again, years later, he was so anguished that he wept loud enough for Pharoah’s household heard him. Joseph was second in command of Egypt after the Pharoah: this is like Gordon Brown breaking down at the Dispatch Box in the Houses of Parliament, or at a press conference. Joseph’s pain went deep.

Jesus forgave, and he ended up battered, broken and bloody, finally dying on a cross.

Forgiveness isn’t cheap, nor is it easy. Forgiveness is seen as a way of letting people walk all over you and in a way this is true: forgiveness isn’t justice, forgiveness isn’t fair. Forgiveness isn’t just ‘letting something go’ — that’s a nonsensical idea. Forgiveness is a fight not to let yourself be dominated by hate and spite. Forgiveness is man’s work (unless you’re a woman, in which case it’s woman’s work), and it takes courage.

But forgiveness always brings healing, and not just to the forgiver, in the end. Seeking justice so often becomes seeking revenge. The Bible says “an eye for an eye” and many people see this as promoting vengeance, but in actual fact it was probably to limit vengeance. “You can pay that person back, but only for what they did, and then you must stop.” The Bible doesn’t condone vengeance, and clearly places mercy above justice.

Forgiveness breaks the vengeance cycle and brings wholeness. Genesis 45:14-15 reads: “Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him.” Who knows what was said after all those years? But it brought restoration to his family. Later on it says that Joseph’s father’s spirit is revived: after all he’s been mourning a son for decades. As if that’s not enough, the whole family — and it’s a huge family — moves to Egypt to live in abundance instead of poverty.

Forgiveness is hard, but it’s worth it.