All about how I used to irritate my parents without even being in the room
My parents had a radio alarm clock that woke them up to the sounds of Radio 4 in the mornings. As I was growing up, my room was directly next to theirs, and I grew to both loathe and detest this disturbance at the beginnings of each day. I felt powerless to stop the onslaught of news and current affairs until one day I discovered that my bedside lamp provided me with the best ever weapon against the dulcet tones of Sue MacGregor, John Humphrys and James Naughtie.
Not to mention Brian Perkins. O Mr Perkins! Where would we be without you?
Where indeed…
I happened upon my discovery one evening when listening to my own radio. I noticed that if I held the switch on my lamp between the on and off position, the lamp would flicker, presumably due to the contact almost being made but not quite. I think I once saw sparks within the body of the switch, but I don’t remember for sure.
This flickering also had the wonderful ability to interfere with radio signals. It would make the reception of any channel so irredeemably poor that to listen to the station was the most unbearable aural torture. It provided me with hours of secret mirth to hear my parents curse the white noise that so inexplicably plagued their radio before switching it off to allow me delicious silence in which to doze for a few more precious minutes.
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My parents are Radio 4 junkies too, the older they’ve got, the earlier they set it off while, conversely, the later they get up. I found it quite comforting though… then again, their room was not bang next door to mine, it was down a corridor with my brother’s in between… he was probably the one who would want to borrow your bedside light.
Cheers
BC
My parents also do this, and have done since I can remember. Their room is also next to mine, except I have the added problem of them being practically deaf! My Father also insists that upon this radio being turned on, he will take it in the shower, where he needs to turn it on even louder because of the added noise of the water. Later when he goes down for breakfast he turns the even bigger, louder and frankly more annoying radio on in the kitchen, yet he still leaves the one upstairs on! ARGH!
But now dearest Mr Kenny I will be insearch of one of these magic lamps, can you tell me where I can find one please?
Mark,
Your mother and I are most dissapointed to hear about your dangerous fooling with the lights in order to spoil our mornings. Might I suggest that the problem lay with your slovenly desire to remain in bed and not with our waking hours and healthy appetite for contact with the world - although your desire to go back to sleep apparently dissappeared once replaced with the sadistic proceeds of your little game.
The fact you could have been electrocuted only makes it worse.
Dissapointed,
Your Father
For a second there I thought you really were my Dad, then I saw the URL. Wow, this whole experience makes me feel strangely close to you. Consider your blog bookmarked.
hey, thanks (or ‘ha ha, got you’). the problem i’ve got is i really don’t know anything about the internet, like how to get people onto my blog (once achieved, they will never leave…) things like technorati and my blog log
…DON’T COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS. I think the damn techies want to keep writers out. I suppose all that’s left is patience… whatever that is.
anyway, thanks for coming over to my blog. You’ll enjoy the more recent post methinks.
JTP
Give it time, writing for the internet is like making tea: you must let it brew.
Or something. Drinking tea is effeminate in America, isn’t it? Maybe it’s more like making coffee?
Ha ha, I’m talking bollocks.
Talking bollocks is much better than being a talking bollock - or, worse, HAVING one. Can you imagine getting through a date sucessfully with a talking bollock?
I think my last post about puking green slime is destined to become an Intenet classic with ‘time’. the only problem is i think it’s so good i don’t want to post anything else that will push it off the top.
um… I’m hanging out in a huge alarmed house in south africa listening to opera. are you really in a cottage in devon?
Make a “favourite posts” list or something — it’s quite common for people to do that on blogs. I have a “Greatest Hits” category. Means more people are likely to read more of your content.
I was in a cottage in Devon, yes. About a year ago… Where are you getting that information from?
You have a picture of a dry stone wall and a field on your homepage, labelled Devon.
The ultimate ‘best of” link is on craigslist. I used to spend hours reading it while i was working notice on my old job.
I like reading this blog as it reminds me of misbehaving in London http://scarlet-west.livejournal.com
Beyond hers and yours i haven’t really found any i like that much. not enough late night wine-equipped surfing i expect.
a bitumen fence, i notice, not a dry stone wall.
memory playing tricks AGAIN.
Ha ha, oh yeah. Yeah, I haven’t got around to updating the front page. I’m writing a little program that’ll deal with my photos but it’s coming on really slowly, mainly because I’m busy. But that’s why there’s a picture of Devon there anyway.