Being Mr. Kenny

I was on the tram the other day and I spotted a man running as fast as he could towards the tram stop as we neared it. We were about 50 metres away and he looked very determined, so I naturally assumed he was trying to catch the tram.

Not so, ladies and gentlemen! Not so! He stopped abruptly in front of a car that was just pulling out and, turning around, with the same look of unyielding resolution on his face, he bent over and exposed his buttocks to the unfortunate occupants of the car.

Sadly, I wasn’t there long enough to see the reaction, but the incident stayed with me all that day. I have no idea who this man, or the victims of his attack, were, and I can only guess at his motives. All I know is that he performed this action with the utmost sincerity. He wasn’t smiling or laughing in any way; throughout the entire episode his face was the very picture of solemnity. Forsooth, his was no friendly moon!

What struck me most was his choice of attack. Throwing eggs at someone’s house, I can understand, but getting your arse out in public lacks a certain amount of grace and composure. I’ve always thought that you should try to maintain your dignity if you’re going to get involved in retaliation. There’s a certain amount of pride involved in these things, as Wikipedia attests. Public nudity doesn’t really cut the mustard in my book.

Anyway, it kept me amused, if a little disgusted, and it caused a bit of a stir amongst the passers-by from what I recall. Funnily enough I don’t think anyone else on the tram noticed it, or at least if they did they didn’t bat an eyelid. It’s strange what gets a reaction and what doesn’t.