Note: This post contains so much exaggeration, it verges on the distateful. But I’m sure you will be able to forgive me once you’ve read it.

Today, a most wonderful and holy event happened. This ought to go down in history or something, and I say that without hyperbole.

Well, of course, I say it with as much hyperbole as anyone ever has in the entire history of the universe, but I’m still feeling pretty elated about the whole thing.

Basically, from what I can determine (I’m still feeling pretty emotional), some people from marketing upstairs had a lunch or something with some clients, and they ordered really delicious gourmet sandwiches and then ate about two of them. This meant that there were about a hundred left over.

We just got an email asking if anyone wanted any sandwiches, and I must have been the only one to go upstairs, because they said I could have the lot. Naturally, I offered them around, but people were far too polite, so I have the exquisite pleasure of being able to eat the entire tray over the course of the afternoon!

They’re sitting right behind me now and there’s about 6 left. All of which I plan to consume like no-one has ever consumed before.

Oh, my work here is done! My cup of joy overfloweth! If I get knocked down on the way home and die, it will all have been worth it!