I’m sorry, I still think these spam emails are the best. More experienced spammees are probably bored of them, but I never cease to be heartily amused:

I am writting this letter with due respect and heartful of tears since we have not known or met ourselves previously I am asking for your assistance after I have gone through a profile that speaks good of you.

I want to find out if it’s possible for you to deal with individual as to investment, I came across your profile and I feel it’s highly reputable that is why I pick an interest getting across to you in respect of investment at my disposal .I will be so glad if you can allow me and lead me to the right channel towards your assistance to my situation now.

Because, of course, profiles on the internet are so trustworthy. Check out how he signs off:

Pls attach your direct and full information .
Best regard,
Mr. Name X.Removed.

It’s funny cos it’s spam :D