Magazines these days Part II

Today, on the cover of one of my sister’s magazines I saw the headline “My boob exploded on the beach”. Glancing over the article quickly I saw the heading “Oozing pus” and decided not to read any more.

Delicious conjoined twins

Me and my mum picked up a bag of jelly babies today, only to find this:

Technically this happened last month

When I walk into town, I pass a children’s play park. In that play park is a sandpit with one of those castle-thingies where there are two layers and a pulley with a half-sphere bucket attached to a chain pulley, so you can lift loads of sand. I don’t know, kids enjoy it.

Anyway, I was walking past it a while ago when I happened to notice a middle-aged, yes middle-aged, couple enjoying themselves on the sandpit play-castle-wotsit. The woman was on the top level, while the man was busy loading her shoe into the bucket. The shoe was then hoisted into the air, which was when I stopped watching them in case they saw me and got embarrassed. Anyway, the experience was one that stayed with me.

The boys in the Post Office

The pièce de résistance, however, was when I was in the Post Office. Ahead of me in the queue was a group of three sixth-formers. They were talking about the usual sixth form stuff, you know, boring crap, when one of them announced loudly, so that all the people in the Post Office could hear, “I want to know what sodomy is”. I thought, “No, you don’t” but they continued to talk about it all the way down the queue, even though they were evidently aware that they might have made a faux-pas.