The first thing we did after leaving Foz do Iguazu (which is the full name apparently) was to book a tour of the bush, including the Pantanal, which is a wildlife reserve, and very gorgeous. We set off from Some City (whose name I have forgotten) and went by bus into Another Place, before picking up a French guy called Julian and getting into a jeep-thing, and travelling the bumpy roads to the camp-site.

On the way there we saw loads of things, like alligators and funny bird-things, but the best thing ever was after it got dark, when we saw the fireflies lighting up by the sides of the road. It was really beautiful. Also saw a large toad, which was really large!!!

Anyway, the camp itself consisted of huts with mosquito nets for walls, and hammocks for beds! Stayed there for two nights, but did loads! Woke up the first morning to the sound of some monsters. Some holler monkeys, or something, had broken into the camp and were hollering, but it wasn’t a scary noise.

The first thing we did was go for a long walk in the bush. Saw loads of wildlife, and loads of interesting plants. It was so fascinating! Afterwards, we went to a lake thing and saw alligators up close. The guide, Luis, produced, from nowhere, a bag of raw meat which he proceeded to put on the end of a stick and use to lure the alligators up the bank. He would bounce the meat off their noses! It was great, and I have loads of photos. Then everyone got in the lake, which I thought was really funny, what with all the monsters that we’d just fed and all. Stayed on the bank and took photos instead.

Then we went back to eat (food actually quite good for the middle of nowhere) and afterwards we went on an even longer walk. On this walk we saw many more animals. It was on this walk that we saw a giant anteater. Luis saw it from about a million miles away, and made us run, none of us knowing why. Then we saw it from the distance, and I managed to get a really good video of it, hurrah!

The other amazing thing that we saw was a group of holler monkeys (or whatever they are called!). Luis saw them and then made the best ever monkey impression I have ever heard in my life! he was so full of tricks it was incredible. It was like Ray Mears, only with a personality. The monkeys sat up their tree and screamed at us for a while, and we moved on. We saw parrots (macaws, in various colours), some lemur things and loads of cows. And loads of bugs, of course. The bugs weren’t actually that big. Saw some odd looking spiders but I knew that if the time came, I could take them so I wasn’t scared. Saw a cockroach though, and it was all I could do not to scream like a girl and throw rocks at it. And a beatle fell out of my blanket, which was super-gross. Ha ha! I mean beetle… Now that would have been something special.

Ate a piece of cactus! That was my second piece of cactus. Luis said that it looked a lot like the San Pedro cactus, but wasn’t. Which is just as well, because the San Pedro cactus is used by some cultures as a hallucinogenic drug.

Luis found an armadillo, which he picked up and turned upside down so we could all gawp at it. It was panting, and Julian poured water into its mouth. It was really sweet, in a kind of speed bump way, and when Luis put it on the floor, he tickled its ears, which it enjoyed enough not to run away. Ha ha!

It was so hot at the camp that I ended up going round in just swim-shorts, which was great cos it meant you could just jump in the shower and then leave, without having to do any of that stupid drying and getting dressed nonsense.

Having lost the entirety of the tan I got in Peru (when we went to freezing cold Bolivia), it was a joy to see it all come back in just one day. Ha ha!

The next day we went for another walk, where Luis cut some agaves for us. We didn’t know why until we got back, where we stripped it down to the fibres and made necklaces out of them. It was so good! Then we left and went horse riding. We met someone who had just finished the trek, who enthusiastically told us that his horse (a male) had been “solid, the whole way through” and accompanied this with an arm gesture. I thought he was funny, but Claire says she thinks he was weird. Anyway, horse riding was excellent. Alex’s horse ran away, which terrified him and greatly amused the rest of us, and me and Claire galloped into the sunset (we actually did!). On the way back, they kept whinnying at some other horses - Luis said it was their babies, which was quite funny.

The next day we went Piranha fishing. Not actually as exciting as it sounds: it was cold, wet and boring. So I left, but it was worth it because getting changed into warm clothes was wonderful.

Got bitten to shreds by mozzies. Counted 100 on my legs. Also there were flesh eating wasps, which just kind of nibbled my knees really, but they were still hideous. Found a dead alligator, too.

Will have to continue later, cos the internet has cost loads already! In the next edition, you will hear all about my exploits with an Icelandic girl and a boat, a compliment from a French person any my exorbitant spending on some beach shorts. Stay tuned!