Being Mr. Kenny

Firstly, let me explain that the computer place I’m using is really tempramental, so it might explode at any minute, so I’ll have to be concise. I’ll try to get everything in tho…

Uyuni

From La Paz we took the bus to Uyuni. At the station we met an Israeli called Polina (I think that’s the spelling…) who also came on the tour with us. I’m meeting people at last! This was the whole reason for coming on the trip.

On the bus over an elderly lady got on who had the highest pitched voice I’ve ever heard! And then another one got on, who almost jumped over Polina’s bag with startling agility. They were both very sweet, and evidently neither spoke Spanish (or at least didn’t want to) because we could hear the rasping language that is Quechwa (and I’ve so spelt that wrong).

In addition to Polina, we also met a Swedish lady called Sara who was just about the most fun ever. She was at the salt mines, and it was really nice to run into her in Uyuni. She greeted us telling us about the people next door who had just come from a terrible tour where the driver was drunk. She said that they were all crying, and she told us this while laughing. She’s the funniest person I’ve ever met.

On the bus over we saw a tornado. A mini one, but it was about 30 metres high anyway. It was one of the most beautiful and fascinating things I’ve ever seen, and I’m not exaggerating this time. It wound its way alongside the road, going in the opposite direction, before slowing to a halt and disappearing back into the sky. It left a dust cloud which sort of evaporated downwards. I was so amazed to have seen it!

The tour

The first thing we saw were the salt flats of Uyuni. These were about ten minutes, or something, outside Uyuni and they were breathtaking. Vast stretches of thick, crunchy salt crystals as far as you could see. It was like walking on hard snow, it was very strange. There were ridges in the shape of hexagons, formed by some special process of which I know nothing. We took loads of photos, including about a hundred trick ones where the car appeared to be resting on someone’s head, or someone standing in someone’s hand, the usual tourist stuff.

There were small pools of very cold, very salty water in which perfectly square crystals of salt had begun to form, just on the surface. It was exquisite.

We also visited the salt hotel. The salt is hard enough for bricks to be able to be made from it, and this hotel was built from salt bricks. As fascinating as it was, it was pretty basic inside, and it was no longer used as a hotel. It now functioned as an obscure little museum, where the entry fee was having to buy sweets from the desk in the corner.

San Juan

San Juan is a small village built out of adobe bricks (i.e. mud bricks). Nearby was a cemetary filled with mummies from before the Incas. The graves were small caves built out of petrified coral (the place was once underwater, many many years ago). The caves may once have been completely sealed, but today there are small holes which allow you to see their gruesome contents.

Looking at the mummies was a very surreal experience because usually you do it from the other side of a pane of glass. If I had really wanted to, I could have gotten into the graves and touched the mummies (which were hundreds of years old). There were about maybe five or six mummies in total, of which some were children’s. All in all it was a fascinating but eerie experience.

Later that night me and Ailis couldn’t sleep for the thought of them crawling out of their graves and attacking us in the night. It was ridiculous! Both of us are 21 years old, and should have known better! We stayed up until the wee small hours dredging our minds for conversation topics until we were finally able to fall asleep.

Talking of accomodation, throughout the tour it was very basic. Not uncomfortable, though, and it was quite fun, but it was freezing cold! Slept in clothes, in a sleeping bag, under the blankets provided for most of the time. Haven’t changed my clothes since Tuesday the 23rd, and neither have I showered, but I can’t smell anything untoward (from me at least) so maybe I got lucky.

The next morning, the cook and the driver ate our fried eggs while we ate stale bread. Well, at least we think that’s what happened, and in any case I didn’t want to eat eggs after the episode in the hospital in Cusco. The cook insisted on playing somw really awful South American music, with the same beat in every song, and some guy shouting words over a tinny, synthesised score. It was utter torture, but never fear! We had our own supply of music to counter the assault on our ears. This consisted of Claire’s CD of quite nice music, a Rolling Stones compilation (which I have tired of utterly) and—and this is the best part—an Abba CD with half the songs in Spanish. By far, our favourite line was “Darme darme darme amor esta noche” (Give me love tonight — a rough approximation of “Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight”)

Needless to say, our Swedish companion sang along to everything. Sara really made the trip!

Geysers

We saw geysers the next morning after leaving our accomodation at 5am. They were really beautiful, and we were lucky to see the sunrise through the mist with only one jeepful of tourists (who left quite quickly). After that we saw a lake full of hot water. That’s the best way of describing it, it’s difficult to convey how odd a stream of steaming water looks coursing its way through a frozen landscape. Odd, but beautiful, and many photos of the early rising sun were taken.

Sara and Polina both dived (dove?) right in, which I thought was insane but probably a good idea, as insane ideas go, since the air was terrifyingly cold. Getting out apparently wasn’t too much of a problem, by some miracle they managed to maintain some of the heat as they were drying (although there was ice in their hair within minutes of getting out) which made me wonder if I hadn’t missed out on something wonderful. Then it was back into the Jeep to see endless parades of lagunas. Although one of them had flamingoes, which were incredible. That day lunch was really nice; it was rissoles and they were gorgeous.

In fact the food was really good for the whole trip, which was surprising because it didn’t appear to be stored anywhere. Kept eating meat wondering how they kept it fresh, but none of us are ill, so it must be ok.

The most annoying thing in the world

After the enormous journey, in which my coccyx may have been damaged beyond repair by the bumpy road, we arrived in our lodging for last night. I was utterly delighted to discover that my entire bottle of shampoo had emptied itself all over everything in my bag. I was ever so slightly perturbed.

Slept quite well, despite that incident, and the next morning we ate pancakes, which made a changed from the stale bread. Drank two mugs of powdered milk, which is gross, but it actually tasted quite nice. Anyway, we arrived a few hours ago in Tupiza, which is a bigger town and we’re staying in a nice hotel with showers!!! I will be able to wash the shampoo out of my clothes and have a shower, hopefully, although where I am going to get the money from (there is no ATM, and I have Bs. 3 — about 20p) I don’t know.

The best game ever

In San Juan, Polina introduced us to Taiki (I think that’s the name) which consists of a pack of cards with pictures of animals in 4 different colours. I can’t be bothered to explain the rules, suffice it to say that it’s better than other card games I have played (mainly because it’s easier, but also because you get to make animal noises, unlike in something like poker).

Ailis’ news

Ailis has made the Lernster rugby team, which is an excellent oppurtunity. Unfortunately for me it means she’s going to be flying back to England this coming Saturday. I’m consoling myself with what I’m going to do when I get back home:

• Listen to the two CDs I bought over the internet
• Eat peanut butter on toast for the first time in ages
• Buy a new jacket
• Cook a roast
• Cook, exercise and get up early more often
• Get a job
• Learn Flash animation and/or JavaScript

And that’s just for starters! Well, gonna have to sign off now, because I have to pay. Let’s hope this publishes, cos I’ve spent ages on it.

There area bunch of things I have been meaning to blog about for ages and I keep forgetting to do so, so here they are…

Women on the force

In both Peru and Bolivia, I saw loads of women police officers, which I found really reassuring. Don’t know why, but I trust a country that permits women to join the police force. I suppose it helps relieve some of the tension created by police officers carrying rifles and shotguns around, maybe.

Orange juice people

Again, in both Peru and Bolivia, there are travelling orange juice salespeople. They have a cart with bicycle wheels laden with oranges and grapefruit, and they dispense freshly squeezed juice for absolutely no money (S/. 1 in Peru and Bs. 2 in Bolivia). It’s utterly delicious, especially when thirsty.

Drunken man in La Paz

In one of the cafes we ate at in La Paz (Bolivia’s capital) there was a drunken man with his friend. On their table there were about nine full glasses of red wine, and two bottles. The drunken man was wearing a white coat which had numerous red wine splotches over it, and he spilt loads more as he came over to talk to us. His friend was much better dressed, wearing a cravate and having neat hair and stylish glasses. It was a strange partnership.

Meeting people

One of the main reasons I went on this trip was to meet loads of different people. I don’t think I’ve met enough, it’s reasonably annoying. So far my favourite people have been some Israelis in Cusco, who were really fun and laid-back, and a Swedish lady who we met yesterday on the mines tour. She told us that Heidi and Helga are not Swedish names, but that Inga is (although it is very rare, even in Sweden, and is pronounced “Inya”).

In an interesting sidenote, we met a Slovakian couple crossing the border into Bolivia. Alex, by way of introduction, informed them that he had visited Slovakia and told them that the train station in their capital “smelt of wee” and that their main tourist attraction was boring. Well done, that man…

Sock-Monster

Sock-Monster is a cartoon which I have been enjoying almost daily (we seem to be lucky with the number of times we can access the internet). Sock-Monster can be found at www.sock-monster.com. I like the atmosphere of each cartoon, and Sock-Monster himself is amazing.

The couple we keep bumping into

In Pisco, in a restaurant, we happened to notice a couple at a table, the male half of which Claire dubbed “The Beautiful Man” apparently because of his excessive good looks. Anyway, I think they got a little disturbed by the number of times he received glances from our table. They left, and we thought that would be the end of it, but oh no. We saw them again on the bus to the death trip in the Colca canyon, where Claire learned that the female half was called B. Woods (name changed) and that she was diabetic. This knowledge led to Claire naming her “B. Woods, diabetic”. It’s quite awful, but such is our sense of humour, and this is now the label we know her by. These accidental meetings were followed by a further two: one in Cusco, in the hotel we were staying at, and again here in Potosi. It’s getting a little bit strange. We haven’t seen anyone else we’ve met so far, so it’s like we’re following them… More likely they have a copy of Lonely Planet.

The Weather

The weather here has been unexpected… Firstly, I thought it was going to be boiling hot and really sunny, but it hasn’t been. It’s been alternately hot and freezing cold (in the evenings) and it hasn’t rained once! It’s winter down here, but you wouldn’t know most days. It’s really nice, but I do have a farmer’s tan (it’s not hot enough to go topless, plus I’m too shy to do that anyway).

The vegetarian restaurant in Potosi

Cafe Internet Candelabria is really, really good. They serve vegetarian food (as well as a few meat dishes) which are absolutely delcious. Normally I hate veggie food, so this is high praise! The Omelette de verduras and Pie de verduras are particularly good (vegetable omelette and pie).

Well, that’s it!

So here ends the things I keep fogetting to blog about. Not going to be able to blog for about five days after today, because we’re going on a Jeep-trek thing across the salt flats in Uyuni. Uyuni will be the highest point we’ve been to so far, I’m told, so I shall expect to be out of breath the whole time. Oh, by the way, I’ve added a little piece to the previous post, something I forgot to say yesterday, so check it out.

Also, just have to say a quick hello to Ciar, who’s been reading my blog because Ailis doesn’t ever update hers (although Claire says she wants to add something soon…). See you in five days!

Today we visited Potosi silver mine. Before I go on, I’ve just remembered that Potosi is the highest city in the world! And the altitude really is noticeable. You get out of breath just going up stairs or getting into bed and pulling the covers about. It’s really weird.

Anyway, a little bit about Potosi… It used to be the most important city in the world (or so they say) because the moutain (Cerro Rico - Rich Mountain) was a rich source of silver. The Spaniards exploited it to their great advantage, and Potosi became important because it was so lucrative. Better sources were found, which explains why it is no longer so important.

The mine itself was incredible. We booked our tour with Koala Tours which was highly recommended by Lonely Planet, and was well worth the $10: protective overclothes were supplied, as well as boots and lights. And the tour guides spoke excellent English and were generally a complete riot: they were really funny and extremely friendly.

The mines were hot, smelt really odd, extremely dusty, and breathing was difficult in places. Sometimes you would get out of breath, and not be able to get it back again for a while. It’s not frightening, but it would be easy to panic if you wanted to.

Down the mines there were loads of interesting rocks and minerals. I took away a few bits of iron pyrites (fool’s gold—which they don’t mine, it’s useless) and the gallery rooves were covered in blue-green copper sulphite, yellow sulphur and this white stuff that made sparkly, almost hairy crystals (I forget what it’s called).

The miners were incredible. Occasionally they would pass, often lugging heavy trolleys along the railways, sweating profusely, but moving at great speed and never showing any signs of tiring or shirking. They work for private companies (there are about 27 in Potosi) and seeing them work was very humbling. They don’t complain about their work, nor do they begrudge the presence of airhead tourists like me getting in the way. They always seemed optimistic and cheerful (making jokes (instead of just laughing) when I was showered with gravel when someone slipped on the ladder ahead of me).

On a sadder note, working down the mines shortens the life expectancy to about 45 years of age. Prolonged inhalation of the fine dust leads to lung diseases like silicosis. Our guide said that the miners become “more than brothers”, often returning to work in the mines once they retire — not for the money but because they miss their coworkers, and the mines themselves. I found it hard just walking about down there, but to work 8 hours a day, and at their speed, is actually amazing.

Odd as it might seem, there is a museum in the mine. (I love the fact that I visited a museum in a mine!) The museum houses various tools, and a plethora of information about the history, geology and functioning of the mine, including frequent diseases. In it there were various statues, one of which was a representation of the slaves which used to work the mines during colonial time. Another was of a devil. The miners offer coca leaves, alcohol and cigarettes to various representations of the devil within the mine. They believe that he owns the mine and therefore offer these small sacrifices in return for protection from accidents, illness and other misfortunes.

All the statues of the devil are shown with “enormous erect penises” (which seem to be a recurring theme of our trip) and our guide explained that the miners were very macho, which explained the lack of women working in the mine and the devil’s “situation”, as he put it.

One of the more exciting parts of the tour was the fact that we got to buy explosives for the miners. (You are expected to buy gifts, and it also feels very good to be able to give something, actually.) I heard one explosion while I was down there (which was more like the sound of a muffled bell) and when we got outside, one of the guides prepared some and blew up a part of the mountain for us. It was absolutely great!

So, in conclusion, if you come to Bolivia, visit Potosi, and go to the mines. You will not regret it (unless you are asmathic or claustrophobic…); it is well worth any expense, and it is a fantastic privilege to be able to visit a working mine.

AddendaAddendum

Yesterday I forgot to mention two things about the silver mine. Firstly, the guides, after preparing the dynamite and all, decided it would be fun to mess about with them when lit. It was quite funny, actually. They lit the fuse and then spent what seemed like ten minutes allowing tourists to pose holding the dynamite with lit fuses, and one of them put one down someone’s trousers. Haha!

The second thing was that if they offer a taste of the alcohol the miners drink, refuse point blank and don’t go anywhere near it. It was 96% proof, which in my book counts as a cleaning product. It tasted horrible, I only had half a capful of it, but it was repulsive. It tasted slightly like gooseberries and it was instant indigestion and headache for about half an hour. The guide took a massive swig after we pathetic tourists had all suffered greatly after just one thimble-full.

So that’s the end of that, on with the next post!

In La Paz last night, we stopped off at the same cafe as before. Did I mention it last time? I don’t remember… Well, the waiter was really nice, and said, “very good” after we all made our choices, and the food was nice. The food is better over here than in Peru, they know how to cook meat, which is completely brilliant.

Anyway, last night I had “Filet Roquefort” which was, as I had very much hoped, steak in a blue cheese sauce. It was the most delicious thing I have ever had in my entire life, and you should be used to my exaggerations by now. It’s quite funny, everything over here (in Peru and Bolivia) comes with rice. I never eat it because I hate rice and also because apparently you can get really ill from it, but there we go.

We left La Paz and are now in Potosi. Potosi is more like the places I’m used to in South America. It’s a lot more rustic. It’s very pretty, and the Hotel we’re staying in is gorgeous. They have warm showers, which are warm all the way through, and the bathroom is lovely and clean. The beds are also deliciously soft and warm. It’s called Koala Den, and I highly recommend it.

We arrived in Potosi after an enormous journey on a bus over night. 10 hours! And because I was in my sleeping bag I kept slipping about and it was very annoying. Never sit at the back in crappy coaches in South America because the seat doesn’t recline and there’s no footrest.

Tomorrow we are going down a mine. It’s described everywhere with words like “terrifying”, and “shocking” so we’re in for a treat, methinks. The mines are still operational, and the tour guide is a miner himself. We’ve paid the tour company (US$10), but you are also expected to buy presents for the miners (cigarettes, food and… dynamite!). It’s actually quite exciting; it’s quite untouristy, so we might all be killed, but who knows, probably not.

There is a key on my keyboard labelled “Turbo”. I want to press it but I’m afraid that if I do, the computer will go really fast and catch fire or something. Just like the train! Although that wasn’t very fast.

I’m sitting in an internet place in La Paz, Bolivia. Just worked out that my meal cost £2! And there is a couple sat next to me chatting to about nine people, and they seem to be laughing a lot, it’s quite funny. I think they’re messing about, it’s great. They watched a cartoon where someone’s tongue got cut in half, so I think they have good taste. I have ordered myself Hanne Hukkelberg’s album, Little Things, which will be waiting for me when I get back (hooray!) and I keep pressing the insert key and typing over stuff I’ve already written.

Missing home again. The food in Bolivia is nicer, so I’m pleased. I had a burger and chips, and Sarah had the biggest and best slice of cake in the world, for only 45p! I’ve worked out how to make my phone do currency conversions, so I’m finding out how much everything costs. It’s quite humbling, really.

A group of schoolkids went past us on the street this afternoon, and one of them said, “Hola” (to which I replied the same). It’s nice to feel welcome, some people don’t like tourists (and fair enough, to be honest, we’re nosy bastards).

Oh crap! Just pressed the turbo button by accident: it’s just next to the shift button. All seems fine so far…

Think I’ll finish now anyway. Oh, before I go, has anyone else noticed how crappily I’m writing of late? Might blame that on the keyboard, but I noticed I’d put “dancer’s” a while ago when I was trying to put the plural. It’s quite embarrasing.

Well, this is our last day in Peru, which is a little bit brilliant because I’m a tiny bit sick of the place… I’ve been ill in it, got out of breath going up its mountains, and generally had a few negative experiences (like mosquitoes, I hate them - although there’s nothing better than the feeling of squishing them, it’s like they try to take a bit of your blood, so you take away their entire existence, haha!).

But I’m also a little bit sad, because otherwise I’m being a miserable old sod. It has been an interesting time, I must admit.

Today we went to see Lake Titicaca, which was enormous. It was more like being on the sea, it was quite strange. On the endless boat trip over there me and Ailis were quizmasters to the contestants Alex, Sarah and Claire. Me and Ailis are blatantly the best people on this trip, and anyone who disagrees loses a point.

In Lake Titicaca there are some floating islands. They’re made out of reeds, which is really interesting, and it makes the ground really soft and springy. Apparently they replace the reeds as they rot. Anyway, it was really interesting and life on the islands seems really quiet, but I felt awful. It was like barging into someone’s home and taking photos, I felt really rude.

I really hate mosquitoes, by the way, I’ve been bitten loads. Actually I think it was those horrible little sandflies. The good thing about sandflies is that you can feel them bite, so you get to squish them. Dumbass sandflies, you’d think they might have worked out that using anaesthetic like mosquitoes was a good idea, but no. They also leave horrible little sores, I hate them. Gave up on the anti-malarials ages ago, so let’s hope I’m not infected, hahaha!

Oh, on the appetite front, I think things are shifting. Today I didn’t order a starter, because I don’t have enough money, and throughout the meal I lamented my poor, unordered starter. It was potato with tuna and something else, but never mind. Although, I did leave half my pizza. I like this new, small appetite me. I never really liked being the “pie”, so this is a move for the better. Still, can’t wait to get home and have some real food. I’m really sick of Peruvian food, they can’t cook a steak to save their lives! Actually that sounds really nasty, but it’s true. Not too keen on their chips, either. Nice crisps though!

Anyway, I’m really tired now, so I’m going to go away. My next post will come to you from Bolivia!

Puno is a bit like Lima, I’ve found. It’s similar in some ways - the street sellers are less persistent than in Arequipa and Cusco (which were also very similar to each other). Well, it looks a bit the same in some places. Maybe that’s just me.

On the train from Macchupicchu back to Cusco we were treated to a traditional Inka dance performed by a guy in a flat hat and the scariest balaclava I have ever seen. I’ll try to get a photo, maybe of one of us wearing one. Might even buy one for a lucky friend! The dance was very energetic, and the dancer went up and down the carriage, madly staring at us out of the eye-slits of the balaclava.

Afterwards we were treated subjected to an alpaca wool fashion show. The models were taken from amongst the ticket collecting staff, so it was quite funny.

In Macchupicchu we were able to meet up with the people we would have trekked with if me and Alex hadn’t fallen ill. They seemed really nice; there were two Canadians, an Australian, a Brit and a Dutch… Or is that Dutchman? Anyway, we went round the ruins of Macchupicchu with them (I’m blatantly spelling Macchupicchu wrong, but never mind) and we would have gone for a drink with them but we were all dog tired from the train.

Talking of which, the train was hilarious. Partway through the engine started spurting out flames, and then we went backwards and got onto another track. Also, the driver kept blowing the horn whenever we came into contact with anything remotely looking like a settlement, be it large or small, which irked me I must admit.

On the bus over we played a nice selection of games. We started with the ordinary Name Game and 20 Questions before moving onto “I’m thinking of a famous lesbian” and “Name that fruit!”. The best one, however, was “Euphemise this!” in which participants are given a body part and are asked to think up the most long-winded way of describing it possible. So, for instance, “knee” = “Mid-perambulatory organ, cartilidge-lined, bending-pivot”. You might be able to guess that we were mindlessly bored. The driver kept blowing the horn on the bus, too, which irked me again.

Something terrible

Something terrible has happened. I keep on being unable to finish what’s on my plate. It’s getting a little ridiculous. I think my stomach has thrown its hands in the air (can stomachs do that?) and has given up, because I’m really finding that my appetite is dwindling.

Well, I think I’m blogged out. I shall leave you in peace.