Being Mr. Kenny

why i don’t read horoscopes – part i

OK, tequila mockingbird is hilarious. Just read this post about why she doesn’t believe in horoscopes. Wait til you get to the bit that begins “Our collective advice is…”. Es muy funny.

I’ve just walked feta cheese into the computer room carpet.

Well, I got back this Sunday from a weekend away with Church. We went to the Yorkshire Dales to stay in log cabins and do Churchy stuff. Naturally, it started in complete disorganisation on my part. Got a letter which clearly stated “Be at church for 5pm!. Come 4.50, I was just beginning to think, “Maybe I should be packing?” So packed I did, hurredly, and I was suddenly overpowered by a really bad mood. It was like all the annoyedness at myself for being disorganised came to a head. Muttering wild curses under my breath, I threw things into a bag, and tossed the contents of my room all about. I cut my finger on a staple, too.

Anyway, I arrived at the tram stop. Blessedly, I did not witness the yellow tram just pulling away, as so often happens when I arrive literally 2 seconds too late. (There are two tram services in Sheffield: yellow and blue. To get to Church I take yellow; the blue goes somewhere else.) Anyway, I wait for a while, still muttering, and a blue tram arrives, so I take it cos what the heck, I’m late anyway, might as well save time waiting for the yellow tram, which will be ages. Get out at the train station, after missing the closer stop.

Actually, during my journey, there was this psycho guy who was clearly mad. No, I mean it, he was actually mad, who kept telling this guy off who behind him for talking about his day. So that was fun.

Got a call from a friend saying, “Don’t worry you still have a lift, and you don’t need to rush.” I was then annoyed at myself for being annoyed, but I decided to break the bad mood by laughing at myself. It’s the only way, you know. When I was at school I was always late, and one morning I remember stomping down the stairs, muttering, complaining about the need to go to school. I actually said the words, “Why can’t school come to me?” then caught myself and laughed. Anyway, I’m digressing.

We stayed in log cabins, as I said, which were lovely, if a bit cold. It was your basic typical weekend away, with all the meeting new people and stuff that makes it really fun. Got talking to Miran about teaching, a career I’m intersted in. It was actually really good to talk to him, he was very inspiring and encouraging. Also said that a certain person in France that he knew read my blog and enjoyed it! It’s always nice to hear (Hello, Liz!)

The highlight of the weekend was showing our gratitude and appreciation to the staff at the centre by making a pile of wood, burning it, then leaving the field strewn with charred remains. Naturally, I took photos, and these will be online as soon as I can kick my computer into shape. Seriously, we decimated a perfectly good field. I think the fire was permitted. Well, I know it was, they wouldn’t have had a fire without clearing it first. But anyway, we completely destroyed this field. Well, not really, but it was messy.

Well, I have a lecture now, so I have to dash, but I’ll try to get those photos up asap.

The entire Björk Single collection

I’ve just got an email about something amazing which is happening that deserves a separate post. It’s quite quite marvellous. See link above.

A while ago, I completed my Björk single collection. Then, I heard news that there was going to be released a singles box set, so I sold the lot of them. At a loss, I might add (stupid, stupid me). Anyway, the singles box set was then cancelled, and I lost quite a lot of hair by virtue of pulling it all out. Anyway, word has just been released of the whole collection being sold again in their original format, for just £115, which is pretty bloody cheap. I am quite deliciously tempted to buy everything in the world (i.e. this collection: I’m exaggerating) and have my collection back again in pristine condition.

Right, our boiler is completely stupid and useless, and I hate it. At the beginning of last term, I noticed that the house was making creaking noises as if it was a ship. We’d just had it fixed, and the flame was really high and the water scorching, so I put it down to things just settling in or something. Anyway, the creaking never stopped, so I always have the feeling that the house is about to explode every time someone turns a hot tap on.

Recently, it has added singing to its repertoire of disconcerting noises. It makes these long, drawn out noises that last for maybe ten or fifteen seconds. They sound like whalesong. It would be eerie if the boiler wasn’t so bloody stupid. Take this morning, for example: I tried to shave, but absolutely no hot water, despite all the creaking and bansheeing that it seems to be doing. I really wouldn’t be surprised if it did explode.

Originally this post was about something completely different, but it was horribly boring so most of it was deleted. The only good bit about it was receiving an email with the following subject line:

Are you interested in sperm competition? Or birds?

You know when you meet someone who apparently knows you but you have absolutely no recollection of ever meeting them? Well, that’s just happened to me.

This guy came up to me and started talking animatedly about something we apparently both knew about, and I really had no idea who he was! I didn’t even recognise him!

I would normally be embarrassed in this type of situation, but I actually thought it was hilarious. I actually had to stop myself from laughing right in his face! All in all, it was a really fun experience, and I’m glad I had it.