Well well well, firstly, may I say that I am very excited. I now have wireless broadband in my room, it’s so cool. I’ve literally (metaphorically-speaking, of course) wet myself.

Anyway, there are a number of funny things that I’ve noticed since arriving home.

Monument to mañana

First thing I do when I get back home is go down to the bottom of the garden and look at the rubbish tip. (I do this every time, I don’t know why, maybe to check it’s still there; who knows? Perhaps it’s the pixies calling me again. Those damn pixies!) Anyway, at the bottom of the garden we have a large heap of things that are going to burn or rot (whichever comes sooner). Kinda like a compost heap but there’s all sorts in there. (A family of potatoes, for example. These potatoes grow every year, and every year (come winter) they are baked where they grow, only to grow back!)

Anyway, what should I find in this heap of garden refuse, but a Pyrocanthus plant that we’ve been trying to do something with for the last, what, two decades? Evidently, over the course of my second term, someone has finally given up and decided to consign it to destruction. Here’s a picture, it’s the thing in the white pot:

Over the last 20 years the plant has never grown bigger than it currently is (it should be able to get quite large). In fact, I think it has actually shrunk. Nevertheless, it has never failed to produce red berries and leaves, on most of its ‘branches’, poor thing. And now it’s been forgotten. Well I must say I am a little sad; I might try to rescue it.

TV guide rubbishes show

Yesterday, Tuesday 22nd March (my 21st birthday) BBC one showed The Iceman Murder, a piece about some guy found dead in some ice. He was a couple thousand years old, they estimated. Anyway, in The Eye (The TV guide in The Times) I found this review:

This potentially fascinating fascinating subject has been dumbed down to the point of absurdity. A group of scientists discuss the various possibilities that might have led to the death of Oetzi, the frozen 5,000-year-old mummy who was found in the Alps with an arrow embedded in his left shoulder. They indulge in dizzying speculation while actors with painted faces dressed in bathmats run around a campsite making guttural Neolithic noises and hitting each other. — David Chater

Isn’t that great? Certainly lost no sleep over missing that one.

My mum’s random comment on comedians

A lot of comedians get like that. They go over the top and they die.

Something else, now forgotten

There was something else that I’ve now forgotten. Much like I completey forgot to go into my old school today, which I have only just remembered now. Dammit. Damn, damn, damn, that is so annoying!