I’ve just had the best sandwich in the world. Let me tell you how to make it:

1. Take four rashers of bacon put under grill until crispy.
2. Meanwhile, lightly toast 4 slices of bread, and spread with margarine.
3. Thinly slice a tomato.
4. Take the bacon out of the grill and place 2 rashers on 2 slices of bread.
5. Put the tomato slices on top, and add a dessert spoon of mayonnaise on top of them.
6. Then (the best bit) take some blue cheese and apply liberally.
7. Then add a little bit of cheddar (just a little).
8. Eat your sandwich

Quite quite delicious. I know, I know, people will be going through the roof at the amount of calories. There’s a nutritionist somewhere who’s just had a heart attack on my behalf. I guess I should say thank you, seeing as now I won’t have to have it. Anyway, I didn’t add any salt to the sandwich, so it’s not all bad news.