Being Mr. Kenny

Archaeologists working late last night made a fascinating discovery in our kitchen.

This evidence permits conclusions to be drawn about the feeding habitats and behavioural strategy of the average student living in the 21st Century.

1. Students are still living on a baked beans-intensive diet.
2. Regular washing up is still a technique to be perfected among many student households.

This plate is believed to be in the early stages of decomposition. Reports are being circulated that it has since been washed up, but these rumours are largely exaggerated.

Next week on wildlife on beingmrkenny.co.uk: the bathroom.

So, just had my first exam. But that was boring. Suffice it to say that I a) managed to get there and b) wrote loads of stuff.

Last night there I had a burst of creativity and wrote a 7 page story, which was the best thing I have ever written. Fell asleep at… wait for it… 5am. How do I manage that? So tonight I’m staying up all night to reset my body clock. Beat it into shape, more like, but anyway.

So yeah, I wrote a 7 page story. I’m still working on a title, but it’s definately the best thing I’ve ever done! It involves a number of characters, two of which come from a play I wrote in year 9 (which was slightly awful, but I still have the recording) and one of which is Mr Cabbage. It’s another story which features the use of the sentence “Will you sit down, Mr Cabbage.” This can be found in Mr McGoogoo’s nose, but it first made its appearance in this other story, which I have now finished.

Originally it fell on its arse, but I have completed it and I am pleased with it. I’ll upload it as soon as I am able.

So yeah, been revising all this week. Naturally, my skills at Solitaire have improved no end. Mark’s revision process:

1. Sit down, open notes
2. Open solitaire
3. Close solitaire, tell self off
4. Read notes
5. Open solitaire…

Ode to the Amoeba has been anagrammed!

Something amazing has happened. I sent an email to the maker of anagrams, Richard Grantham, a message of all of five words, and I’ve just got an email from him, containing an anagrammed version of my poem, Ode to the Amoeba, with the title Ode to George W. Bush. I was astounded… I’ll see if I can either post it to my site, or if there’ll be a link or something. Sheer genius, and I am most highly honoured!

Also, just found out that Björk’s latest video, Triumph of a heart is now available on bjork.com. This is her latest single (plug, plug) and it’s a bit strange even for me. But the video looks fun (I haven’t seen it yet, the link’s not working) and there’s a cat involved. This is a guaranteed liked video: it involves both Björk and cats!

Don’t you just love the way foreigners use the English language? This Christmas I received, to my sheer delight, a coffee bean grinder. Today I just drank four cups of coffee in a row and went a little caffeine crazed. So crazed, in fact, that I did all the washing up. Oh yes, there’s no knowing what crazy things I’m gonna get up to next, it might even be the hoovering or something next time. Anyway, I was reading the user’s manual the other day and I came across this instruction:

“To prevent the grinder from operating properly, use the brush to clean the consistency of the coffee grounds, ensure that the inner rim is free of coffee particles.”

Nelly “helped” me with the hoovering today.

Grabbing hold of the hoover:

And lifting it off the floor:

She didn’t like the suction though, she couldn’t work that out at all! Twas hilarious.

Found a really nice quote today:

“A day hemmed in prayer seldom unravels.”

A bit cheesy, I’ll grant you, but I like it.

Everything you’ve ever heard about anything is all wrong and completely false. Apparently. At least that’s the conclusion I drew when I visited this site: http://hentai-dan.com/ and fell off my chair in marvel at its beauty.

What Type of Villain are You?

It’s actually hilarious, if you’re that way inclined.