Porridge is absolutely amazing, and should be eaten by everyone, all the time. Constant porridge eatination is what I’m advocating, here. I’m eating some right now, and it is simply fantastic.

Particularly exquisite is porridge mixed with sugar, and even more particularly exquisite is porridge mixed with sugar, with milk, or even (if you’re feeling fattylicious) cream. Porridge in cream is what is known as ‘An Island of Loveliness’ because it literally floats and sticks together to make something so divine that for a few fleeting moments the bowl and spoon become conscious. It’s all true, I’ve seen it for myself.